forsaintcecilia: (I'll hear a sermon)
[personal profile] forsaintcecilia
Please leave any mail for Kazuki here, whether of the electronic or physical variety! He'll get back to you ASAP!

(no subject)

Date: 2019-05-16 01:36 am (UTC)
lyingheart: (look away | to warm the cool side)
From: [personal profile] lyingheart
He loved me. And I was fighting to get back home to him.

[ There's nothing happy in the statement; there's more than a hint of pain, and she doesn't like feelings things as intensely as she has been since she got back. She knows why, knows that she'd felt too estranged from time noting her age changed and nothing else had, that it made everything she'd been compartmentalising for the last seven months she'd been here was torn right back out.

So what is it that bothers her most? She's said it to Lute, in small snippets. She hasn't admitted it to anyone else, because the ones from home both do and don't understand, and saying she misses her father in front of a comrade she knows is dead feels cruel in a way she doesn't enjoy.

So she uses Kazuki as a soundboard, from a world so much more peaceful, where the arts are prized more than the art of conquest.
]

He's still alive, I know it, but at this point, I don't know that I'm going to be able to keep my promise.

[ She shifts to lean forward, pulling her hands into her lap, curling a cupped hand around her fist. ]

You know what the biggest joke is? I've basically been in a coma the last four years. I have two years left to find the only person in the whole ugly world who loves me, and I don't even know if I'll wake up in time to find him before I die from pre-existing conditions anyway.

[ A condition he made sure she was trained to get. One that he'd broken down over, apologising, afterward. I'm so sorry. She breathes in, a ring of constriction around her chest. ]

You're right. Parents aren't always the best for their children. [ Eren, where did your father go? Was he the one who helped make you who you are? ] And you love them anyway.

[ Lute looks back to her, waiting for her slight nod before he accepts the offer from Xylo. She needs space as much as she needs anything. And for the time being, he figures she needs human company, and it's rare enough to seek out someone that he'll take those steps out into the beauty of another home's cultivated gardens, knowing it does not break the one behind him.

So he falls in with Xylo, waiting and appreciative as they set off.
]

(no subject)

Date: 2019-05-16 03:08 am (UTC)
lyingheart: (watch | your heart wears knight armour)
From: [personal profile] lyingheart
Yes.

[ It's analagous enough. ]

I'd appreciate you not bringing it to the attention of anyone else from my... mudball of a world. I'd prefer they didn't know.

[ Which allows neatly for the two who do, without ever worrying the rest will learn, too. Belatedly, she remembers it's probably a good idea to address the worry she'd heard in his voice, seen in his demeanor. She's not dying here. None of them are. ]

Ah, Kazuki, I'm not dying here, from what I can tell. The... symptoms have subsided. They only flared up during that strange weekend.

(no subject)

Date: 2019-05-16 03:23 am (UTC)
lyingheart: (back | i hope you find a new direction)
From: [personal profile] lyingheart
Thank you.

[ It's quiet, and followed by an even quieter sigh. She knows she's cured, since all powers and linked messed are gone. But... ]

It's similar to the people who've died in their own dimensions being alive here. Something about this place just... ignores what should be true.

[ She watches the garden, the glimpse of Lute's white fur, the lovely spring nature of it all. She breathes in more deeply, feeling... still feeling far more than she likes, but also something like relief. Not of the weight of everything, but a shift in the weight of missing the chance to get home to get father. She breathes out, the same slow count, and examines Kazuki from the corner of her eye. She doesn't smile, not exactly, but she does tip her head just to the side. ]

This is about when a moderate encounter with alcohol sounds like a great plan.

[ she has her Mead if she wanted to be drunk, but she doesn't. she just wants... she doesn't know. a hangover and a shit night's sleep. the bounty provided by alcohol??? ]

(no subject)

Date: 2019-05-17 03:30 am (UTC)
lyingheart: http://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=2324546 (curious | in a tidal wave of mystery)
From: [personal profile] lyingheart
[ She has no comment to being alright, but since she agreed on a purely physical level, and that's the only level that's mattered most her life, she simply stays silent. Easiest response for her in the world anyway.

Her eyebrow lifts at his just a sec, and it's only when he's coming back with a bottle that it slots in place what he'd graciously planned out. She'd figured on heading out to one of the drinking establishments in town, though this? Is much nicer. She's never enjoyed bars, for all the ones here are much nicer tended to and smell less like body odour and vomit. Also less like alcohol, but she figures they spill less and have less thrown around. One follows the other.
]

Beer seems to be an acquired taste.

[ Then again, she says that about any alcohol. She considers the bottle, considers making some kind of comment about drinking at his house, then decides it's not worth it. She would with Armin, to make him squirm; she would with Krieg, to make him laugh, if anything. Bertolt would be easier to tease for the sheer pointless nature of it; so would most the people here that she knows. Kazuki, she's not sure about how far she can push him or in what ways she can tease, and since deflection isn't called on, she doesn't make comment. ]

You like ciders?

[ Says she, who makes mead, though cider is an equally interesting concept. Not that she needs to throw her weight at making alcohol because she wasn't legally able to drink any of it, and not that she'd cared to in particular before, but pointless endeavours kept her sane, and the process had managed to be interesting.

She picks up the bottle, examining the label.
]

What about meads?

[ Drunk Annie, which has yet to happen, might go maudlin, might go... snuggly? Might be any kind of mess that she's not planning to learn about anytime soon. She's still idly checking the alcohol percentage: at the highest, it'll still be lower than strong mead. One of life's little joys. ]

Thank you. For the thought.

i'm so sorry kazuki

Date: 2019-05-17 04:08 am (UTC)
lyingheart: commission from <user name="okelleok" site="tumblr.com"> (curious | hell to the best of us)
From: [personal profile] lyingheart
Mead's fermented from honey. Tends to be sweet, but not cloying. Misleadingly strong. I make mine with berries.

[ Here, in this world. She had no resources or reason back on her own world. When he explains his logic, she blinks, looking at him. ]

... Drinking alone with an attractive man is better than drinking at an establishment with a slew of unknown patrons?

[ She has an eyebrow raised, because this was in fact something friends did, or that people offered when sealing different kinds of deals. Annie did not, in general, drink with people, so aside from tastings with Thida or drinking with Krieg, it wasn't a more logical behaviour for her than anything else.

Which meant she was pointing out that there's more than one way to take his sentiment, and while she figures it's from a "then you don't have to watch how much you're drinking" point of view instead of an intimate or advantage taking one, she does find it silly. Not enough to refuse, or refuse to take the glass he's poured for her, but--ah, yes.
]

Or is the privacy more comfortable for you?

[ Is the answer she lands on, when he mentions not liking certain alcohols, and he likely hadn't drunk much before. Still. ]

Does make me less likely to be offended by handsy drunk idiots.

[ She would handle anyone who did touch her without invitation, which, at a bar, even here, could definitely happen. Drunk people made poor judgement calls. There'd be no lasting injury done, but people would be sore.

Kazuki is wise. Also possibly not thinking about any of that, but look: she doesn't know moms, has no mom friends, and would find the whole idea ludicrous. So instead he gets her logic versions of why here, alone, and not out in public, at places that cater to those needs.
]

when kind intentions bite back

Date: 2019-05-17 04:45 am (UTC)
lyingheart: http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?id=1732449 (disbelief | a million one reasons)
From: [personal profile] lyingheart
[ He's an honest blusher, and she didn't think he really considered what his statement sounded like. He's a good person. She, well, isn't. Or at least doesn't consider herself as a good one, just decent these days.

She gives him the grace of her looking away, instead studying the bubbles on the inside of her glass.
]

Is that the only reason? [ she doubts it, but she's also the person who would doubt it. he's straightforward, kinder than most, but not absent of his own complicated thoughts. he's human. it's natural. ] All that thinking... yet not thinking to ask, too. Acting like that might give a girl the impression that you're interested.

[ She opts against the mild act she would put on if talking with Eren or Armin, no pressing her hand to her chest, no looking "pointedly" elsewhere. ]

I don't mind either way.

ruffles his hair

Date: 2019-05-17 05:20 am (UTC)
lyingheart: anonsanta, let me know who to credit! (ask | of any moment ever stolen)
From: [personal profile] lyingheart
[ Her eyebrows have quirked up again. Goodness, he's apparently embarrassed himself. She'd claim credit, but is belatedly understanding how her own words could be misconstrued. In his favour, she believes only incurable flirts would think to be interested in her, because they're about the only people blind enough to have no taste beyond "not hideous."

She has a particular expectation of the world in relation to herself, and it's not a flattering or self pitying one. Which in this case does work in his favour--for all if he'd been equally blunt back, she would have been amused at having inadvertently continued the miscommunication.
]

I didn't think it was. And I don't mind either way that you didn't ask what I wanted to do. People make worse presumptions.

[ She hopes that's more clear, since it's what the not minding either way was. She didn't care where they were drinking, and takes a swallow of cider, puzzling over the taste before deciding she likes it decently enough. ]

Here's to being awake.

[ And she holds up her glass towards him, in offering of a cheers and change in subject. ]
lyingheart: anonsanta, let me know who to credit! (ask | the only thing that i ask)
From: [personal profile] lyingheart
[ To this oddball, but better than mudball, world. Annie decides pear tasting alcohol is decent enough, and while her general mood might have wanted something with more of a sour bite to it, this is good. Good enough she takes a long, gulping swallow after, kind of like how some people down ale, but not how one takes a shot.

After swallowing, she takes her glass away from her mouth, eyes it critically before proclaiming:
]

Good choice you made.

[ This is definitely much, much better than beer. She also settles into taking swallows over more polite sips, watching the pokemon in the garden, thinking about what drinking to this world really means to her. Drinking to a fantasy? An escape. A series of stolen moments in time.

Yeah. That's worth drinking to, even when it fixes nothing. This place isn't about fixing things. It's about having a chance to breathe for the people like her, and the ones from home, and all the others from messed up worlds. It's nice, and while she feels no better about what a mess waits back home, it does remind her there are things to appreciate here, amoung relative strangers. Like pear cider. Like gardens. (She has no idea how to garden, and not even really how to properly admire a garden, but she can note it's lovely, and that should matter.) Like... well, sunshine? No Walls? No wars? Yes. Those are good things. She can appreciate them all.

It does make her the quiet one again, living in her own head. She's not the best made for company in general.
]
lyingheart: (ask | line my seamed-up join)
From: [personal profile] lyingheart
... You eat the pokemon berries?

[ She's surprised, largely because while a handful can be used by people in various ways, most of them are just so... unfriendly to human systems. Kazuki, you oddball. (An oddball with a healthy world to return home to, whenever his time here is up.) ]

Tonks is your Primarina?

[ A little amusing that he avoids saltwater; she supposes he might prefer freshwater, in that case. Ackerman didn't appear to have a preference one way or another. She leans forward, holding out a hand to Lute as he rejoins them, welcoming the touch of his soft nose against her fingertips. He sniffs at the alcohol in her glass, shakes himself off, and wanders slowly closer to the coiled Furret.

She sorts through her own memories, pulling on Lapras, some concept that Armin is related to a group of Lapras, the cruise ship and the attending Lapras--both crisp memories and also ones dulled under the last week.
]

The same Lapras you were playing for on the ship?
lyingheart: http://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=2670907 (curious | if i fall behind)
From: [personal profile] lyingheart
I'll take your word for it.

[ She won't pretend she didn't test about a fingernail's worth of the ones meant to be vaguely people safe, but nonewithstanding the fact she's sitting here drinking with him, the two used for drug purposes aren't appealing, and her tolerance for spice with heat is slowly growing. Pecha Berries? Yeah, please don't kill her yet. Her entire digestive system is used to far more bland, not spicy-hot foodstuffs... ]

What is he hoping to compete in?

[ C...cuteness? Annie, who has paid minimal attention to contests, genuinely doesn't know. Which she gets away with because none of her pokemon seem to care about contests either, outside of gym battles and taking on all challengers (wild or trainer provided) as they appear. ]

Ah, yes. Seems like the kind of thing he'd know. Doesn't he have his own group he's caretaking, or something like that?

[ Lute tips his head in a quiet greeting in return, breathing in the scent of saltwater on fur. He glances toward the sunny skies, then back to Maestra. Planning a daylight soaking to follow the ocean soaking? ]

oh certainly, that'd be fun!

Date: 2019-05-17 11:40 pm (UTC)
lyingheart: http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?id=1732449 (think | you took what you wanted to take)
From: [personal profile] lyingheart
[ She takes another sip of alcohol instead of finding words to encompass "I don't get it, personally, but I understand why secrecy feels important." She's the last person to say one shouldn't keep important things secret for as long as possible... even if those things are how one's preparing to win a contest.

She's very glad this is not a concern she presently has to handle. Enough so she takes another sip, locking her foot behind her ankle.
]

Presumably everyone needs a place to belong. However damaged or undamaged they are. [ Showpony Lapras is as valid as Traumatised Lapras; but she's not sure how Armin ended up with that kind of calling, and also knows she won't ask. ] He seems happy with you.

[ Lute makes a small huffing agreement, before asking if she minds him joining. He wants to linger closer to where Annie is, though she's far more restive, less twitchy, than when she arrived. ]

gotcha

Date: 2019-05-18 01:03 am (UTC)
lyingheart: http://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?id=2378994 (look back | this isn't where i should be)
From: [personal profile] lyingheart
[ She half smiles, little more than a pulling up of her lips at the right corner. It's nice hearing people talk about things they believe in, and Kazuki clearly believes what he says.

The kinds of places that can have people who say this with sincerity, and have a world that tries to reflect that sentiment sincerely, is a beautiful thing. Even to her. They all had a home, somewhere, carried in their heart or otherwise.
]

Yes, it is. [ A sad, cold place. She says this as she sets down her glass, and stretches her arms overhead. Lute leaps up to settle near Maestra, watching Annie from the corner of his eye. ] Nice to know it can be considered a given in some dimensions.

[ ................................ okay so she sucks at positive conversations ]

who needs sense when you could have a field day

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this feels hilariously overdramatic so HELLO

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i am so glad

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forsaintcecilia: (Default)
Kazuki Hihara - 火原和樹

August 2020

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